protect your dreams

sooooo…

after being let go from my previous employer due to some extraordinary circumstances, I’ve been hired again.  yay!  IT work with a splash of bookkeeping.

Now, I don’t get as much time to hang out with my daughter… q_q so, I’ve got to improve the quality of time I’ve got with her.

ARRRRGH new york city unemployment telephone claims line!  always fucking busy.  It’s been like two weeks now.  I’m hesitant to say ‘fuck you’, but…

There’s so much that I would like to say, but then I wonder if this will all come back and bite myself in the ass… but you know what?  you only live once, so fuck it.  here goes.

I wish that you hated me so that you could look more after yourself than to expect… something of me which I would love to give you, but can’t because it’s just not me.  dat gestalt prayer.  you are you, and I am I.  and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful.  If not, it can’t be helped.

(well, perhaps it can, but…)

I admit, I can be quite an a-hole often times.  Perhaps I’m sociopathic… idk.  But… I can live with myself.  And you can manage without me, truth be told.  If I fell off the face of the earth, you would be okay.

I try not to put anyone down… I want everyone to shine.  Thing is, I want to shine too… and I have my own theories on how to do so.  And I don’t think that your theories remotely mesh with mine.  soooooo…. i’m just gonna do my thing over here, and you don’t really need to know anything ’bout it.  ‘cuz that’s the way it is, that’s the way adults deal with things sometimes.

people change over time.  cells die and are regenerated.  there are some things that are immutable that transcend space and time, but i’m at work and don’t fucking have time to discuss it.  meh.  love, peace, charity, etc.

my own lifestyle… including, having a blog of this nature.  most people I know wouldn’t approve.  idk.  just living my life.  a dream life.  and sometimes, you need to protect your dreams.  maybe you’re the only person that understands why… or perhaps you haven’t found that circle of people that feel the way you do.

any more, and i’d be rambling…

Would be nice to go to a play.  Supposedly, NYC’s full of ’em, and now i’m on teh payroll!  me and my daughter will go one day…

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