“why do i smoke?”
such were the words uttered by the man sitting alone in his room, contemplating his next action. ‘for the pain’ was his best answer, that chronic pain in his temples that wouldn’t go away, but what about the pain of withdrawal?
“ehh, i’ll think about that later.”
all that seemed to matter at the moment was that cessation of pain at the moment. The ‘why’ of it didn’t come to mind. Poor nutrition, exercise and just trying to keep up with the pace of such an impersonal city as this one took its’ toll after some years, not to mention the mental strain of contemplating how to escape it.
He heard it in a Kendrick Lamar album, that people stop acting up in their 30s because they’re too tired from life’s demands. He wasn’t 30, but he was close.
‘You’re about as old as you feel, right?’
He felt like he was 2. Wrapped in thick blankets on the nod. Felt a little guilty, feeling so good an’ all. Surely his more puritanical friends and family would have something to say…
‘… that is, if I tell them.’
At what point is it okay to stop and take a breather for a bit? Only after you retire? What of altering one’s bodily chemistry to do so?
Vibrations of an ancient sort permeated the enclosed space. Vibes which spoke of a time before law and order.
He wasn’t sure how to feel. He knew that this form of therapy wasn’t strictly needed. Yet, it was something to look forward to, strangely, after a long day of contemplating serious issues. To just feel like a kid again, ya?
To have that reminder of what it would be like to have the vitality, cheerfulness and carefree joie de vivre of a child, he would no longer need to smoke. =)
the title ‘no need’ comes from a song that has much sentimental value to me, made by some bloke who calls himself ‘labguest.’ it reminds me of this guy i know who is quite a pleasant soul despite what most would consider a pretty fucked up situation.
to you, to you all, i wish you well.