sequential mutation (the breaking of tradition)

Thoughts dissolve and coagulate into new forms each and every day.  Traditions, like people meeting in a physical space every week to do the same thing… when, it’s really not about the physical space, but the medium in which the thing happens, so long as it happens…

I understand why people meet in places of worship.  It’s just that, I’ve grown to feel that maintaining one’s faith is such an everyday thing, that… the act of meeting at one place to do the same thing, possibly because it’s the way it’s always been done by our ancestors, seems outdated.

The air was full of oxygen and nitrogen by the budding plants, and we were in a space partially closed off from the light of the sun and (what I would consider) adequate ventilation.  I had to go early and revel in the brilliance of the day.

——————

I used to think that life had set rules for happiness.  Make a living, clean house so that your significant other doesn’t get mad, have children, eat right, read books and do things that keep you sharp, and all will be well.  Then I came across various… nuances that complicated things.  Concepts like, ‘never say never because you never know.’  Like my current feeling of being a transient wherever I go, never quite feeling settled.  Or being looked at a certain… way, because of having not lived up to that person’s expectations.

It has been difficult living up to the expectations of others.  So much so that… not to place guilt or blame on anyone, but I have suffered many nervous breakdowns trying so hard to conform to the desires of others which just don’t feel right.  Understandably, compromise is most times unavoidable in this life.  Yet…

Haven’t you felt that way, that life was destined for a certain series of events only to break away tangentially?  I guess, because of the sheer numerical probabilities of what could happen in this universe, that you can’t quite get used to it all.

I had some strange dreams this weekend.  One of a judge whom I had a sordid affair with in a courtroom (who ended up literally summarily executing me), another of being involved in a bicycle accident [pushing my spirit out of my body] and witnessing harm done to my siblings, and yet another in which I go on a rescue mission to save my siblings (again) from a tyrannical dictator of some sort.  far out.

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I failed to mention; today is the first day of a new job!  yay!  Probably doing the same things that I was doing in the past one, but… eh, we’ll see.

—————-

It’s been said that actions speak louder than words.  Such a theory with profound nuance that I am trying out now.  Sometimes it’s pointless to talk, as I don’t really actually talk to too many people right now.  Words come out weird.  Writing is fine, but how many people will read this?

Hopefully, my intent will be shown through my actions.

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