grinding

I initially wanted to get rich quick.  Do something that would make myself and my loved ones well off right away.  Didn’t matter what it was.

It would still be nice, to an extent, but that is not my focus now.  I just want to be okay, to live a sustainable kind of life that won’t send me to an early grave.  Sustainability.  Because I’m not getting any younger, and don’t know how long I’ll be around.  Killed by a dirty bomb next month?  Euthanasia via an IV morphine push seven decades from now?  #shrugs

I really don’t mean to be morbid here, but I’ve really been stressed out lately.  Been letting a lot of people down, and beating myself up as a result.  Self flagellation doesn’t help, it just makes me less capable of doing what I must do to make things right. 

And there’s only so far you can go to please others before you start compromising the better parts of yourself.  Move on.